that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Randomize
