Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
