i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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