I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
