if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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