wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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