I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
