yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
