There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Randomize
