Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
