She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
