I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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