I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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