Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
