So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i believe in u and ur pee
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
