she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
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