and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
In America we eat man semen.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
