no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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