is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
His hands were made for my vagina.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
