Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
