There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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