No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
