I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
soo... how was my night?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
