um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize