this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
