I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
