Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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