The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
