i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
