u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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