I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
