There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
