she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Just pee around me
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
