Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
