Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

The maid of honor just puked.

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(940): View more from Texas

I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom

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(585): View more from New York

She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.

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(917): View more from New York City

was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?

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(812): View more from Indiana

I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.

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(515): View more from Iowa

I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.

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(425): View more from Washington

VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN

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