i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize