Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize