Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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