Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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