Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
