I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
