State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
