Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
