We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
