if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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