Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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