Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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