got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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