i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
