was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
