@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
