i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
