My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
