Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i think i just lost a toe
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
