She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
