hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
