i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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