The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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