ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
