I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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