i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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