You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize