He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
