Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
