I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize