i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
