You really coming over, don't trick.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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