What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
