We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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