Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
